Below might be the best description of the experience, and feeling, and fruit of "Union with Jesus" that I've ever read anywhere. Montaigne was writing of his closest earthly friend; but try reading it as describing your pursuit of intimacy with Jesus:
In the friendship I speak of, our souls mingle and blend with each other so completely that they efface the seam that joined them, and cannot find it again. If you press me to tell why I loved him, I feel that this cannot be expressed, except by answering: Because it was he, because it was I.
Beyond all my understanding, beyond what I can say about this in particular, there was I know not what inexplicable and fateful force that was the mediator of this union. We sought each other before we met because of the reports we heard of each other, which had more effect on our affection than such reports would reasonably have; I think it was by some ordinance from heaven… Our friendship has no other model than itself, and can be compared only with itself… Our souls pulled together in such unison, they regarded each other with such ardent affection, and with a like affection revealed themselves to each other to the very depths of our hearts, that not only did I know his soul as well as mine, but I should certainly have trusted myself to him more readily than to myself.
Michel de Montaigne, Of Friendship